you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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