I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize