Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
FUCK WHALES
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
