i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
