She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize