I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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