We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
