Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
