R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
