I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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