@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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