i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am spending my child support on dildos
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize