Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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