You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
