We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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