worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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