youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
