Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it was like eating out sand paper
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
