why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize