ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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