Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You ate ashes out of my bong
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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