Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
