idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
