Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dick very happy bro
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
