i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
