He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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