what if every blade of grass was a penis?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
