When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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