i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize