You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
