WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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