I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize