you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
