I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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