Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
