Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
