my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize