I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
