Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
