did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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