Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
