Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There are leaves in my underwear?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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