Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
