I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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