Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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