How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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