remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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