just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize