just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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