Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
