Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
