can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
