If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize