I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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