one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
