Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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