You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize