so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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