Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
