Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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